"You must give great advice" is one variation of the type of comments and questions I have received over the years as a therapist. The interesting thing is that in the process of becoming a professional healer and in my years of doing this work, the truth is that I so rarely give advice at all. Quite honestly, it would be arrogant of me to think that I know what's best for anyone (other than myself). Doing so would be feeding my need for "fixing" or helping people in a superficial put-a-bandaid-on-it kind of way. There are moments when people need advice. But it is rare.

The first principle of Hakomi Therapy, - the mindful somatic, experiential psychotherapy method that is the backbone of the way I work with clients (and engage in the world in general), is Organicity. Organicity basically means that living beings and systems are self-healing and self-organizing. Our innate wisdom is within us. It is often masked by trauma, learned behavior, and modern society's excessive information, stimulation, patriarchal conditioning, fast pace, and unfortunately, the list goes on. Rather than advice giving, I see my role as being more of an instrument, a guide toward helping the expert/client on accessing their truth, their intuition, gut-knowing and healing abilities. We all have this within us.  We are born with it. 

We are always striving toward self-healing and repair.  Often this looks like slowing down, going inward, being witnessed, unlearning what is not useful, and providing a safe and warm atmosphere and connection that allows what wants to emerge to come out. This collaborative dance reveals our innate wisdom which guides us toward healing and being in alignment with ourselves and the universe. It leads to cellular level change and it sure is a whole lot more healing and meaningful than advice giving or receiving. 

It is one of the greatest honors of my life to help people towards their most true and authentic self. It takes immense bravery and trust to allow someone into your inner world and as many times as I have had this privilege with my clients, which is so many at this point, it is never lost on me how beautiful it is to be a steward for painful release and grief, and movement towards a freer and more aligned self. 

Natalie Harvey, MS, MFT